1. Cancel your gym membership, add YEARS to your life

    Workout warriors being fitted for wings

    Maybe it's just the dog lover in me coming out, but I'm going to go ahead and recommend a much-needed medical test to anyone keeping a hamster as a pet.

    You ought to have your head examined.

    There's only one type of person deranged enough to get their kicks watching a glorified rat run in place for 20 hours a day -- and you'll have no trouble finding him at your local gym.

    These workout-worshippers are grinding away hours of their day on treadmills or in "spinning" classes wearing sweat-drenched T-shirts with inspirational sayings like "live strong."

    Well, they ought to change it to "live short." Because research proves those kickboxing lessons are only preparing you to kick the bucket, and lots of folks like you are exercising themselves to death.

    One eye-opening study from the German Cancer Research Center tracked 1,000 folks --including lots of seniors -- for a decade and found that couch potatoes and folks who worked out more than four times a week were BOTH more than TWICE as likely to keel over from a heart attack or stroke.

    That's right -- you're almost better off skipping workouts completely than becoming one of those health nuts who's getting his mail at the gym.

    And this wasn't some anomaly, either. Another study from Sweden's Karolinska Institute found that men who exercised more than five hours a week during their youth were 19% more likely to develop atrial fibrillation, a serious heart rhythm disorder.

    Now don't get me wrong. Nobody is giving you permission to spend more time engaging in Americans' favorite exercise -- channel surfing. Both studies found that MODERATE exercise, like regular walks with friends or the occasional game of tennis, were the keys to delaying your date with the Pearly Gates.

    Let's face it -- that trainer who's shaming you into dragging yourself to the gym five days a week isn't doing you any favors. And if he's anything like these two guys, one day he may need a favor from you -- like carrying his casket.

    If you ask me, they ought to stop sewing workout shirts out of cotton and spandex, and make them out of wool instead. Because most of the health nuts you'll find at a gym are sheep, plain and simple. They've been swallowing each other's lies for so long about the benefits of a "daily burn" that they could use a trash enema.

    It's time to change the channel on their deadly nonsense and find something simple and low-impact that you love. It'll beat the heck out of running yourself ragged on that great hamster wheel in the sky.

  2. Diabetes drug boosts sex life

    Diabetes drug boosts sex life

    Men with diabetes are prone to low levels of testosterone, but a new clinical trial has revealed that a topical, gel-based testosterone replacement therapy could improve not only the sufferers' response to insulin - it may also improve their sex lives.

    Dr. T. Hugh Jones of Britain's University of Sheffield tested the effect of Tostran, a testosterone gel, on insulin resistance in men with low testosterone levels and found that both insulin sensitivity and erectile function improved over the course of six to 12 months.

    The only drawback? Some skin irritations were reported. Small potatoes compared to such significant benefits, in my opinion.

    As you well know, I am an ardent supporter of testosterone supplementation in men (and even women in certain cases). I believe testosterone is our most under-used hormone, and many men are losing years off their life because their doctors pay no attention to testosterone levels. So it comes as no surprise to me that this topical gel can yield such beneficial results for diabetes sufferers.

    Sadly, most doctors rarely check testosterone levels, and even when they do, often treat deficiencies incorrectly (in fact, many of my colleagues wouldn't even recognize that there was a deficiency to begin with). Dr. Jones concurs with my view on the value of testosterone: "Awareness of the problems caused by low testosterone is becoming more widespread and its connection to health issues like diabetes continues to become increasingly apparent," he said.

    It's good to see I'm not the only one trying to get everyone pumped up about the many untapped benefits of testosterone.

    Working out bites

    Working out sucks - literally. A new study shows that people who regularly hit the gym are more attractive to blood-sucking mosquitos.

    If you've been looking for an excuse not to work out, you can add "avoiding mosquitos" to the list. Mosquitos choose their victims based on body temperature, amount of carbon dioxide in the breath, and skin chemicals like lactic acid - and exercise boosts the levels of ALL THREE of these signals, which makes people seem tastier to mosquitos during or before a workout.

    Susan Paskewitz, an entomologist from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, said that mosquitos tend to make a meal out of the people who emit certain signals. "The main things are how you smell and how hot you are," Paskewitz said.

    So now that summer is here, don't be afraid to park your butt on the couch [link to couch promo] with a tall glass of iced tea. If anyone gives you a hard time, tell them you're just trying to avoid West Nile Virus.

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