sperm counts

  1. Too much TV kills sperm

    20 hours of tube time hits 'down there'

    TV doesn't just kill brain cells faster than dope. It also kills sperm so well that "Big Bang Theory" just might be the next great form of birth control.

    In a new study of 189 men between the ages of 18 and 22, researchers found that men who spend 20 or more hours a week parked in front of the idiot box have 44 percent fewer sperm than men who watch the least.

    So-called bad habits like drinking and smoking won't kill sperm, according to the study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine. (So much for calling them "bad" habits, huh?) Not even obesity and drug abuse can do the job.

    Just television.

    Of course, I don't think sitcoms are actually responsible for all that damage on their own.

    No, the real sperm killer here is what I refer to as "meat-in-the-seat syndrome," the sedentary couch-potato lifestyle that's also been shown to cause obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and a higher risk of a premature death.

    In other studies, we've seen that even regular exercise can't undo the damage of too much sofa surfing, and that's true here, too: Regular exercise couldn't reverse all the damage caused by 20 or more hours in front of the TV.

    So if you've got a serious TV habit of your own, it's clearly past time to change the channel. And while you're at it, change your underwear too. The study also finds that men who wear boxers have higher sperm counts than men who prefer tighty whiteys.

  2. Obesity kills sperm

    Obesity is like a natural contraceptive. Not only does it make you less attractive to the opposite sex, but men with bulging bellies also make less sperm.

    And in plenty of cases, they make none at all.

    It's been proven before, and now it's proven again as French researchers say their analysis of 14 studies shows that as waistlines grow, sperm counts shrink.

    Those 14 studies involved a combined 10,000 men -- men of different sizes and shapes, all of whom provided ejaculatory samples for comparison. (Side note: Pity the life of a poor research assistant.)

    They found that about a quarter of all men have low sperm counts, and that obese men are 42 percent more likely to be among them than normal-weight men.

    Even more frightening, the obese are 81 percent more likely to make no sperm at all.

    Overweight men, guys who haven't reached the obese zone yet, were 11 percent and 39 percent more likely than the normal weight guys to have low or no sperm -- but let's face reality here: If you're badly overweight, you're probably in no condition to be "doing it" anyway.

    All that huffing and puffing makes sex more work than pleasure, and possibly dangerous work at that. And that's even assuming you can get it up in the first place, because obesity kills erections.

    That's because extra body fat has the unique ability to turn testosterone into estrogen, and once that excess estrogen starts flowing through a man's body he may as well start knitting -- because he's not nearly as much of a man as he used to be.

    Want to avoid all that? Then lose the pounds now.

  3. Birthrates continue to plummet

    We're sure not making 'em like we used to -- and now, our birthrate has reached a dramatic new low, falling 2.6 percent to 13.5 live births for every 1,000 people last year, according to alarming new numbers from the National Center for Health Statistics.
  4. Cell Phones: Cell Killers?

    As you may know, I've been one of the more vocal critics in the past about the excessive usage of cell phones these days - especially among kids.

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