sperm count

Gentlemen: If you have plans to reproduce, step away from the treadmill... and don't you dare touch that bicycle.

Exercise won't help your sperm -- and cycling will kill them.

While the mainstream now recognizes that intense workouts will slow your sperm factory, most docs still push "moderate exercise" as a means of boosting production.

Even the Mayo Clinic has exercise on its list of advice for improving male fertility.

Well, not so fast -- because a new study finds absolutely no difference in sperm quality between moderate exercisers and couch potatoes.

Myths are just crumbling left and right these days, aren't they?

Researchers examined semen samples of 2,200 men provided at three fertility clinics, and found that those who exercised regularly were no better off than those who didn't.

Men who biked at least five hours a week, on the other hand, were twice as likely to have a low sperm count -- and what sperm they did have weren't moving very well.

Overall, 40 percent of the regular bikers had low numbers of sperm with good movement -- compared to 27 percent of non-exercisers.

You'd have to be wearing those ridiculously tight cycling shorts on your head to be surprised by any of this.

Those clingy little Tour de France costumes can literally squeeze your sperm to death -- and those that manage to survive the Spandex Strangler will almost certainly be done in by an hour or so of abuse on a bicycle seat.

It's kind of like an iron maiden for your testicles.

The study didn't track actual sperm -- science has its limits -- but any survivors would probably be so dazed that they'd have no chance of ever finding an egg.

Do yourself a favor and stick to golf or tennis.

FINALLY the rest of the world is catching up on the alarm I sounded years ago: Sperm rates are rapidly dropping, and it spells bad news for men who hope to have children.

A new study out of Europe finds that sperm are practically an endangered species: Forty percent of men in the once-fertile 18-25 age group now have sperm counts so low that having a baby won't come easy.

And half of them -- or a fifth of all young men in Europe -- won't be able to have a baby without the help of a lab worker.

The researchers aren't sure what to blame for the incredible shrinking sperm counts -- so naturally, they pulled out their favorite boogeyman: Smoking.

But hold on... haven't smoking rates gone down, even in the cafe culture of tobacco-loving Europe? Yup... sure have... but hey, never let the facts stand in the way of a good boogeyman -- right, guys?

The researchers also blamed obesity, which is a factor -- but it's not even close to the biggest one.

No, the real problem is the chemical feminization of boys and men around the world, because sperm counts aren't just shrinking in Europe -- they're plummeting everywhere.

The BPA and phthalates in plastics and soy in food all mimic estrogen in the body -- and studies have shown that all three can contribute to lower sperm counts and quality.

Think it stops there? I wish it did!

Dangerous drugs and chemicals are also turning up in the water supply -- including still MORE hormones, and they're even causing fish to spontaneously switch genders right here in U.S. streams and rivers.

Some of these meds are the same gender-bending drugs given to men undergoing sex-change operations, and I have a hard time believing that they're in our water by accident.

The only other answer, then, is that someone is putting them there... and before you dismiss that as a conspiracy theory, just think about this: They're already putting dangerous chemicals like fluoride and chlorine in the water and TELLING you about it.

Just imagine what they're not telling you.