Gentlemen: If you have plans to reproduce, step away from the treadmill... and don't you dare touch that bicycle.
Exercise won't help your sperm -- and cycling will kill them.
While the mainstream now recognizes that intense workouts will slow your sperm factory, most docs still push "moderate exercise" as a means of boosting production.
Even the Mayo Clinic has exercise on its list of advice for improving male fertility.
Well, not so fast -- because a new study finds absolutely no difference in sperm quality between moderate exercisers and couch potatoes.
Myths are just crumbling left and right these days, aren't they?
Researchers examined semen samples of 2,200 men provided at three fertility clinics, and found that those who exercised regularly were no better off than those who didn't.
Men who biked at least five hours a week, on the other hand, were twice as likely to have a low sperm count -- and what sperm they did have weren't moving very well.
Overall, 40 percent of the regular bikers had low numbers of sperm with good movement -- compared to 27 percent of non-exercisers.
You'd have to be wearing those ridiculously tight cycling shorts on your head to be surprised by any of this.
Those clingy little Tour de France costumes can literally squeeze your sperm to death -- and those that manage to survive the Spandex Strangler will almost certainly be done in by an hour or so of abuse on a bicycle seat.
It's kind of like an iron maiden for your testicles.
The study didn't track actual sperm -- science has its limits -- but any survivors would probably be so dazed that they'd have no chance of ever finding an egg.
Do yourself a favor and stick to golf or tennis.