The 'Al Gore Cure' for obesity

Gaining weight? Don't blame your own lousy habits -- blame global warming instead!

That's right, researchers in Europe are actually making the ludicrous claim that carbon emissions make people overeat (which answers some of the questions I've had about Al Gore, anyway).

And you're not going to believe how they cooked this one up.

The researchers say an analysis of data on thousands of people tracked from 1974 to 1996 finds that fat ones and thin ones alike all gained weight over that period -- and they added proportionally the same amount of weight.

They claim the rise in CO2 levels over those 22 years is to blame -- because apparently, CO2 makes your blood more acidic... and more acidic blood tricks your brain into wanting more food.

The overall weight gain over 22 years is undeniable. The part about CO2, however, is pure balderdash. You may as well blame ancient aliens, the post office, or Lee Harvey Oswald -- it makes about as much sense, and there's probably about as much evidence.

Look at any population of humans over several decades, and you'll see weight gain. That's true of nearly every period in human history, and it has nothing to do with the greenhouse effect.

It's the hormone effect.

As we age, our bodies make less of the hormones we need most. For women, the trigger is usually menopause. For men, it starts even earlier, when testosterone levels start to drop off in our 30s.

In both cases, once those hormones slow down, the spare tire shows up. Throw in the one-two punch of today's worst habits -- fast food and sedentary lifestyles -- and of course we're bigger than ever.

But if you REALLY want to shed those extra pounds, don't buy a Prius, wear a CO2-filtering gas mask, invest in carbon offsets, or beg Al Gore to run for President of the World.

Just watch your habits, and visit an experienced naturopathic physician who can test your hormone levels and top you off.

Bottom line here: Carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will not make you fat. But studying it can make you stupid.