Anti-booze researchers want to cut you off
Get out your thimbles, folks -- because if Oxford know-it-alls have their way, that's how your booze will be served from now on. They're pushing to limit everyone to just half a unit of alcohol a day or less.
That's roughly a quarter of a pint of beer or slightly more than a third of a glass of wine. Don't even ask about Scotch or gin -- maybe you'll just get to sniff it, giving new purpose to the snifter glass.
These teetotaler researchers claim their ridiculous new limits would save 4,500 lives a year in the U.K. alone -- including 3,000 lives from cirrhosis of the liver and 2,600 lives from cancer.
Yes, I know -- that adds up to more than 4,500. Either a typo, or the researchers are terrible at math. Or maybe they're secretly drunk.
I'd say any of these things are possible.
Of course, the study is a six-pack of nonsense. Cutting back on everyone's booze would of course prevent cases of cirrhosis caused by alcohol abuse simply because heavy drinkers are included in "everyone."
But responsible moderate drinkers aren't at risk of the disease in the first place. In fact, there hasn't been a case of cirrhosis caused by moderate drinking yet -- and there's even plenty of evidence that a slow-but-steady habit can actually protect the liver.
Take that, Oxford!
Moderate drinking can protect the heart, too -- a fact these researchers were forced to admit when their own numbers found that 843 people would die each year if they drank LESS.
And let's not forget all the other established benefits of moderate drinking, including better health, longer lives, less pain, and a lower risk of everything from dementia to arthritis.
These researchers might not be drinkers -- but if they think people should give up all those benefits, they're probably smoking something.
And I don't mean tobacco.
P.S. -- Fed up with all the hogwash and hollering? "Give up meat... that stuff will kill ya!" "Eat MORE vegetables!" "Beer is bad for you!" Nag, nag, nag! They never let up! But while everyone else is giving up all the stuff that makes life worth living you don't have to. Let me show you how shockingly pleasant the road to good health can be.