life expectancy

  1. Longer (and better) living through tobacco

    Decades of anti-tobacco lies go up in smoke

    French may be the language of love, but it's how it's spoken that's gets me hot and bothered -- between long puffs of delicious, sweet-smelling tobacco. The French adore their smokes, and it's a proven fact that the average Parisian gal can sing the national anthem backwards without the cigarette falling out of her mouth.

    That's irresistible to me, but share that opinion with anyone in the American mainstream and they'll have you fitted for a straightjacket faster than you can say "Excusez-moi." That's because these anti-tobacco nutjobs are hell bent on taking their war on smoking global -- and if you want proof, just check out the ridiculous media reaction to a recent report on global smoking rates.

    The World Health Organization released a study on smoking rates by country, and the predictable anti-tobacco media bomb exploded worldwide. These brain dead reporters saved most of their venom for France, where about one-third of adults smoke -- that's about twice the smoking rate in the good old U.S. of A.

    Oh, the outcry! Media outlets around the world blasted the French government for not stepping in, and even wondered if the "rebellious" French have a secret death wish! You would have thought the streets of Bordeaux were littered with the bodies of cancer-stricken mimes, coughing up chunks of baguette into their berets.

    I haven't seen the world so worried about France since the SS were goose stepping through the Arc de Triomphe!

    But here's something those raving reporters forgot to mention, and that the average health nut would rather bite off his own tongue than admit. The French outlive us on average by THREE YEARS! That's right, these French are puffing away like coal-powered freight trains, and their life expectancy is three years longer than ours.

    And that's no anomaly. The U.S. is 35th in the world for life expectancy, and 86% of the countries that outlive us smoke more than we do. That's a FACT, but don't sit around waiting for the brainwashed media to admit it.

    You can fool the media, and you can fool the population -- but you can't fool science and Mother Nature. And the science has shown us again and again that the nicotine in tobacco can help keep your brain sharp and could even help you ward off painful joint surgeries that are often the first step towards the grave for many older folks.

    I've been smoking pure tobacco cigars for years, and I recommend them to anyone who will listen. If you want to keep your body and brain humming along well into your golden years, follow this short prescription, courtesy of the French.

    Puff away, s'il vous plait.

  2. Why Americans die young

    Leading the world in all the wrong ways

    The latest numbers are in, with researchers comparing death and disease rates in 17 of the world's wealthiest nations. And the United States came in... last.

    Hooray for us! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-wait... what the???

    That's right... dead last in life expectancy for men, who live 3.7 fewer years than Swiss men. And second-to-last for women, who fall short by five years when compared to the Japanese.

    On the other hand, they outlast the Danes by a couple of months, so that's something, right?

    All told, we're behind nations such as Sweden, Australia, Italy, Spain, the United Kingdom, and more. Heck, even Canadians can expect to live about three years longer than the average American.

    Canadians, for crying out loud!

    It's not just life expectancy where we fall short. We're behind at every stage of life.

    American babies are more likely to die before their first birthday. Our children are more likely to drop dead -- or get killed -- before the age of 5. We even have the lowest odds of making it to 50 of any nation in the study.


    We're also last or near last in nearly every major health category. Americans are fatter, sicker, and more likely to get everything from STDs to parasites.

    But of course, it's not parasites that are killing most adults, unless there's some previously undiagnosed worm that makes people eat junk all day, every day -- because that's the real reason for the bulk of our health problems.

    We've got among the highest levels of obesity and diabetes, making Americans 155 percent more likely to die of heart disease than everyone else. We're so far ahead in heart disease that if you could power a car with it, we'd be the new Saudi Arabia.

    So what you can do about it? Nothing... when it comes to the nation in general. Most of your neighbors are pretty much doomed. But you can save yourself and your loved ones, and all you have to do is the opposite of what everyone else is doing.

    I'll have the full story on that tomorrow -- so keep an eye on your inbox. But you can start right now by skipping sugar.

  3. Fuel for the 'death panel' fire

    I'm the last person on the planet to defend the mass over-treatment of patients, especially seniors in their final years. But mark my words on this: The latest pushback on "unnecessary" surgeries won't be used to improve lives -- it'll be used by insurers to save cash, even if it means KILLING old folks in the process.
  4. You can live longer if you'll just...

    But you tell me what to make of the latest studies: One finds you can extend your life by three years or more with just 15 minutes of exercise a day... while the other finds that every hour of TV shortens your life by 22 minutes. Put 'em together, and you can use one to cancel out the other.
  5. A Global Population Boom

    Everyone knows that we're in the middle of a global population boom. But I recently read an astonishing factoid that puts this exponential explosion into stark perspective.

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