health insurance

Jailbirds flying high on free health care

It's a shame that the degenerate pointing a gun at your head, threatening to leave a crater in your skull if you don't hand over your wallet and keys, decided to cover up his pretty face with a ski mask.

Because you ought to at least get a look at the nose job and all the pricey dental work you paid for.

They must be making snow angels in hell today, because the Big Brother socialized medicine apologists and I finally found something we can agree on. They're wondering whether we should just take all the criminals... all those convicted murderers, rapists, and thieves running loose in America today... and throw them back in prison where they belong.

But the reason they want to do it is going to leave you hotter than a two-dollar pistol.

These welfare-worshipers are playing the world's smallest violin for thousands of ex-cons who are learning that life's not so easy when you stop nursing on the government teat. You see, from the moment these guys and gals are sent up the river, they start getting free dental care, free counseling, free physical therapy, and they don't pay a dime for surgeries and prescription medications.

Heck, with all the free medical care they have access to, it's a wonder these miscreants even find the time to stab each other in the showers. But when they do, you better believe YOU'RE paying for the stitches!

Of course, once the taxpayer gravy train ends, ex-cons are finding it's no fun having to work and pay for their own health care. Imagine their surprise the first time they tried to pay for a physical with three packs of cigarettes and some chewing gum.

Now, a prominent George Washington University professor is claiming some of these ex-cons would be better off back in prison where they could get all the free health care they need. It's either that, or expand state and federal programs to make sure former criminals are better covered, she says.

Well, that's an easy decision for me -- send them to prison. Most of them are eventually headed back there anyway. Only I'd like to add a little wrinkle to the good professor's plan.

First, let's stop this myth that there's any such thing as free health care. Every time Andy the Arsonist gets an infection trying to give himself a new neck tattoo, it comes right out of YOUR pocket.

How about, just once, we teach these men and women what it's like to EARN something? How about we make them work off the cost of their medical care, or pay back the expenses once they're released?

That way, the next time some career criminal needs a colonoscopy, law-abiding folks like you and me don't end up feeling like WE'RE the ones who have just been subjected to a body cavity search.

Insurance plans have got you covered -- with dirt!

Imagine this. A team of EMTs wheels you frantically into the emergency room of your local hospital. You're gasping for air and it feels like there's an elephant sitting on your chest.

That's when a kindly-looking older woman pushes her way through the scrum, tears off your oxygen mask, and asks you the very last question you'll hear in this world.

She doesn't want to know your blood type. She doesn't even want to know your next of kin.

She wants to know if you have insurance. And she's not getting ready to treat you -- she's getting ready to SCREW you!

That's because a shocking new study from Stanford has found that the little white insurance card sitting in your wallet right now may actually be an express ticket to a pine box. If you've ever swallowed Big Government's lie that you need to fork over a third of your paycheck every month to purchase "life-saving" insurance for yourself and your family, you're going to be spitting nails when you hear what I tell you next.

You see, researchers studied the cases of 4,500 patients who were fighting for their lives when they were admitted to 636 American hospitals. We're talking serious trauma, car accidents, flat-lining... you name it. And if you had health insurance, you were actually 15% LESS LIKELY to be transferred to a first-class trauma hospital.

Looks like that "Cadillac Plan" became a "Hearse Plan" in a hurry.

And these medical decisions... these choices that were supposed to be made with your best interests in mind... didn't have a darned thing to do with your health. They were all about greedy hospital administrators trying to soak you and your insurance company for THOUSANDS.

That's because the minute non-trauma hospitals learn you have insurance, they come up with every excuse in the world to keep you. They start counting the cash, while you're counting your last breaths.

But when those pigs learn that you don't have insurance, and that there's no pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow, they'll send you somewhere else -- usually to a hospital better equipped to handle your emergency.

The streets of Heaven may be lined with gold, but they're also lined with the souls of poor saps bragging about the excellent insurance coverage they had on earth. So the next time you're wheeled into a hospital for emergency care and that sweet-as-pie receptionist asks if you have insurance, try something that just may save your life.

Ask her why it matters. Tell her it's none of her business. And keep that little white card far from where prying hands could find it.