1. Being thin is deadlier than being fat

    Health nuts are DYING to be thin

    Ever had someone tell you that anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Well, step one foot inside a typical gym, and you'll set yourself straight in a hurry.

    Those sweat factories are packed floor to ceiling with machines that look like they came straight out of a North Korean torture chamber -- and they're all killing you, one burned calorie and one drop of sweat at a time.

    And if you need any proof, just check out that guy with the 28-inch waist and stringbean arms pedaling away on an exercise bike like he's wearing the yellow jersey in the Tour de France. He's been hassling you for years about losing your spare tire, but there's a secret he's hiding under those short-shorts and neon tank top.

    He's a walking corpse -- and a new study proves it.

    According to a massive new analysis out of Canada, folks who are underweight are TWICE as likely to die prematurely as people who maintain a normal weight.

    And that's not all. Turns out that being too thin is actually 50% deadlier than being fat! Tell THAT to the exercise Nazi who's always trying to drag you kicking and screaming on one of his "invigorating" five-mile jogs.

    Being too skinny isn't killing Richard Simmons fast enough for my tastes, but it sure is killing plenty of others. It may even be what offed celebrities like jogging fanatic Jim Fixx who dropped dead at 52, or the health crazy Congressman Goodloe Byron who bought the farm at 49.

    But for every Jim Fixx or Goodloe Byron you hear about, there are dozens of others you don't. In fact, one famous medical researcher conducted a study of 14 marathoners who died prematurely and found that every single one of them was malnourished!

    Listen, there are a lot of self-proclaimed health nuts out there offering garbage advice that could have you jogging and cycling your way straight through the Pearly Gates. That "personal trainer" you're trusting with your life at the gym may have as little as six weeks of training – and he may NEVER have even set foot inside a classroom.

    So stop trusting the meatheads and start trusting the science. Keep starving yourself and wasting away hours on a treadmill, and you could be a dead man walking.

    And if you're not careful, it all might happen a lot sooner than you think.

  2. Vigorous exercise linked to sudden death

    Tune out the dumbbells and get back on that couch!

    They say birds of a feather flock together -- so it's no wonder health nuts spend so much time with dumbbells. Most of the cretins you'll run across at the gym don't have two brain cells to rub together, and they expect you to put your life in the hands of some 22-year old "personal trainer" who took a couple of fitness courses online.

    Puuuhlease. I was body surfing well into my 80s, when most folks are shuffling along behind walkers. And I've kept this Adonis figure by never lifting anything heavier than 12 ounces.

    Usually, it's filled to the brim with Budweiser.

    And if you don't want to spend your golden years watching Golden Girls reruns from a wheelchair, I suggest you do the same. Because a new federal study has proven once again that when you engage in intense physical exertion, you could end up riding that exercise bike right to the Pearly Gates.

    In a 14 year study of firemen, researchers found nearly 200 died after vigorous exercise, such as heavy lifting and running. And these guys were younger (average age of 49) and healthier than many of you. Most of them had perfect cholesterol and didn't have high blood pressure or a family history of heart disease.

    Keeping your muscles in shape isn't about torturing them on some squat rack. It's about keeping supplied with a steady source of protein and other nutrients they need and staying active doing the things you love.

    So cancel that gym membership and use the money to buy a delicious rack of ribs instead. Because, starting today, you have a new prescription, courtesy of Dr. Douglass -- get off that treadmill and back on the couch.

  3. Researchers advise turning down the heat for weight loss

    This dumb diet idea may take the sugar-free cake. Dutch scientists are recommending you turn down your home's thermostat and lose weight by shivering away your excess pounds. They've finally invented something crazier than wooden shoes!
  4. Daily walks can slash your heart risk

    A daily walk can slash your risk of heart attack and stroke, according to new research.
  5. Want to avoid a stroke? Go for a walk!

    A long daily walk can slash your risk of stroke by as much as two-thirds, according to a new study.
  6. Natural movements as good as exercise

    Natural movements and active hobbies can slash your risk of death from heart problems every bit as much as exercise.
  7. Sex your way to fitness

    Sex is one of the best forms of exercise around, burning more calories than walking.
  8. Many exercisers gain weight

    A quarter of all people who join a gym gain weight and half lose nothing at all, according to new research. Get the real key to weight loss here.
  9. Exercise little help for fibro

    Exercise doesn't do much for fibromyalgia patients, with a new study finding that nine months of sweat leads to only tiny improvements.
  10. Less is more when it comes to exercise

    Two workouts a week can be as effective as six -- and no workouts a week can be more effective than all of them if you get movement from natural activity instead.

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