1. "Mostly vegan" researcher backs study attacking meat

    Sham vegan study is full of beans

    Maybe it's because I'm not a billy goat -- but there's a real limit to how much garbage I can swallow.

    And whenever I hear these preachy vegetarians in their organic hemp togas arguing that their movement is about "love," I can taste the vomit in my throat.

    Oh, they love the cows... and pigs... and even Mother Earth. But you'd better believe they don't give a hoot about you. Because a new study proves what I've been telling you for years -- these nutjobs would rather see you STARVE than fill your belly with a delicious steak.

    Meat-hating hippies were practically throwing a parade in Times Square when a new study claimed that folks who eat too much animal protein could be shortening their lives. CBS picked up the story... so did the Today show and UPI... the coverage reached all the way to Australia!

    And every one of these incompetent pseudo-journalists owes you an apology, because they were taken for the ride of their lives.

    The one thing NONE of these news agencies reported... and that he apparently wasn't in any great hurry to reveal himself... is that the study's lead author, Dr. Valter Longo, is a card-carrying member of the Cauliflower Crew.

    Our Big Brother media ran hog wild with a story fed to them by a "mostly vegan" researcher telling you not to eat meat.

    I got my AARP card so long ago it was printed on parchment by Benedictine monks, but it took me three minutes online to discover that Dr. Longo practices a mostly vegan diet. And you can be darned sure that every reporter out there discovered the same information I did -- they just chose to hide it from you.

    And there was plenty of other evidence that Dr. Longo's nutrition advice is a one-way ticket to an early grave. He actually recommends starvation diets to cancer patients, and then has the nerve to turn around and claim a pork chop is going to kill you. When you recommend starving over protein, it's not science -- it's politically motivated quackery.

    If you fellas out there want to grow a firm set of bosoms, I can't recommend Dr. Longo's vegan soy diet strongly enough. The foods are so loaded with estrogen, you'll be joining a sewing circle and sipping Starbucks in your yoga pants in no time.

    But the truth is, from the moment you turn 50, you're losing about 2% of your muscle mass a year, and a diet rich in animal fat is the best weapon you have. You won't just look better in the mirror -- you can protect yourself from dangerous falls.

    It's time you tune out those veggie-obsessed fools forever. Their movement's not about love and it's sure not about your health. It's about politics, plain and simple.

  2. Is the female brain booze-proof?

    One more thing men didn't know about women

    Whether I was manning clinics in Africa or studying disease in Russia during the height of the Cold War, I've traveled the world trying to unlock hidden cures and maybe leave behind some knowledge when I leave this planet.

    But there's one mystery that, in all my years, I've never been able to solve. In fact, no man has.

    It goes something like this: You spot an attractive woman at a bar and spend half your evening using your best material and buying her round after round of expensive drinks (you know, the kind that come with umbrellas). And the next thing you know, you're going home alone without so much as a phone number.

    Well, it looks like some British researchers have finally cracked this enigma, and I'm afraid it's bad news, fellas. It turns out women aren't just impervious to our bad pickup lines -- they're also impervious to booze.

    According to a long-term analysis of alcohol consumption, older guys who were heavy drinkers for 10 years saw their brain power and executive function decrease. But ladies who drank daily were as sharp as carpet tacks, probably thanks to the increased levels of estrogen circulating through their systems.

    As for you fellas, go ahead and keep tossing back that glass of beer or wine at dinner. First off, I'm always skeptical of studies that seem to go looking for bad things to say about booze. I mean, it's not exactly shocking that older men would experience memory loss over a decade.

    Second, a study out of Spain proves that regular alcohol consumption cuts your heart attack risk in half. And while a couple of senior moments won't kill you, a heart attack will.

    Besides, there's a difference between enjoying your booze and being a heavy drinker. So, men, keep chugging away. But when you see that pretty gal at the end of the bar, save your bills and don't bother sending a fruity daiquiri her way. She has super powers.

  3. Hormone crisis leads to early puberty

    Girls are going through puberty earlier than ever, and excess estrogen from excess weight is partly to blame.
  4. Men don't need more estrogen

    A new study claims men may need more estrogen -- but don't believe it for a second.
  5. The right way to get your female hormones

    Estrogen therapy is getting a bad rap because of Big Pharma's dangerous synthetic hormones -- but the natural stuff isn't just safe. In some cases, it could save your life.
  6. The natural cure for 'muffin top'

    Muffin top fat is regulated by an enzyme that's controlled by estrogen, according to new research -- so boosting estrogen after menopause can help eliminate muffin top.
  7. Boys are going through puberty earlier

    Boys are going through puberty earlier than ever -- and thanks to estrogen everywhere, they're practically turning into girls as a result.
  8. Moderate drinking can protect women's bones

    Women looking to get a leg up on osteoporosis should raise a glass -- because new data shows that moderate drinkers have a lower risk of the bone disease.
  9. Plastics chemical in diabetes link

    I've warned you plenty about the risks of phthalate exposure for kids: These hormone-like chemicals used in plastics, cosmetics, scented candles, and more cause everything from bad behavior to developmental problems.
  10. Obesity kills sperm

    Obesity is like a natural contraceptive. Not only does it make you less attractive to the opposite sex, but men with bulging bellies also make less sperm.

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