Wake up and smell the tofu!
The vegan health food Houdinis -- those tofu tricksters -- are at it again.
They'll resort to anything to get you to choke down their pinebark-and-seaweed meat-free nonsense. They'll press it into cutlets that look like pork chops or slap some cute name on the box like "Tofurkey."
And it's all some silly ruse meant to trick your mind and fool your senses, crafted by brainwashed nitwits who value the health and life of a chicken more than yours. Now these hippies have a new trick up their sustainable hemp sleeves, and it's aimed straight at your nose.
Pennsylvania researchers have discovered that human beings can SMELL the dietary fat in food, and they're aiming to develop chemical versions that manufacturers can spray on health foods to make you think you're eating a filet mignon! Blindfolded volunteers were able to sniff out the fattiest foods every time, and researchers say that once they understand what fat smells like, they'll be able to bring these new sprays -- this nutritional napalm for your nose -- to market.
Well, I can tell you EXACTLY what fat smells like -- delicious!
I'll take the smell of fresh bacon frying in the pan over some sad soy patty any day. And I'll be healthier for it! Because what these health nuts don't understand is that your body NEEDS fat to fight disease, protect your heart and brain, and keep you from packing on pounds.
But, believe me this has never been about your health. It's really just animal rights activism run amok. They're trying to protect a bunch of cows that are so dumb they don't have the sense to run from burning barns. God put these bovine boobs on earth for one reason and one reason only -- to be eaten.
So relax, do your body a favor, and go cook one up right now.