Another day, another phony attack on red meat.

I'm sure you've seen the headlines by now, so I won't bore you with the details. In a nutshell, researchers claim that every 3 ounces of red meat a day will boost your risk of an early death by 13 percent.

With deli meats and bacon, that risk supposedly shoots up to 20 percent.

I have to say "supposedly" because the study proves exactly none of this. The researchers clearly want you to think meats are junk food -- but in reality, this is just more junk science.

You know by now how these agenda-driven studies work. First, they try to dazzle you with big numbers -- like the 37,698 men and 83,644 women tracked for up to 28 years.

Sure sounds like a lot, and it is.

But the researchers made no attempt to distinguish people who eat the most meat and have a healthy lifestyle from those who eat the most meat because they eat the most of everything.

You know the ones I'm talking about. They don't know what beef looks like without a sesame seed bun and a side of fries. And do you even know anyone who eats deli meats NOT on some form of bread and without a bag of chips?

It's all those carbs that'll make you fat, sick and ultimately dead -- not meats -- and the study actually proves it: The "meat eaters" in this one were fat and sedentary.

Since it's practically impossible to get fat on a true low-carb diet, these people were clearly eating extra carbs with their extra meat.

And that, my friends, is the REAL reason they're dropping like flies.