cosmetic surgery

  1. Big Pharma pushing botulism for bladder control

    Mainstream medicine is peddling poison for your bladder

    Remember the good ol' days when the occasional potty break would interrupt your sleep? Well, lately it's been the other way around.

    You're lucky to catch 20 or 30 minutes of Z's before you're sprinting to the powder room again, trying to hit the toilet before you start dribbling like the Harlem Globetrotters.

    And if frequent urination and the occasional "oops" haven't driven you crazy yet, don't worry -- the mainstream is MILES ahead of you.

    They've just unveiled a bladder treatment crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory. And it won't just leave you spinning your wheels -- it could have you fighting for your life.

    Two new studies presented at the American Urological Association annual meeting -- a Big Pharma show and tell if there ever was one -- are now recommending potentially dangerous Botox injections for bladder control.

    The same neurotoxin Hollywood starlets jab between their eyes... that actress Angelica Huston crusaded against after it froze her face... can now be rammed into your tender bladder for the low, low price of $250 an injection.

    Researchers are claiming Botox could prevent thousands of bladder surgeries. Well, cemeteries are full of folks who will never need surgery again -- folks like a California 7-year-old whose parents bought the mainstream's lies about the safety of Botox, right before she died.

    And she wasn't the first victim of this lethal neurotoxin either -- just the latest.

    Listen, there's nothing more humiliating than peeing your pants during a lunch date with friends. But dropping dead is no picnic either.

    If the constant urge to go has you going bonkers, give this safe, natural Chinese formulation a try, and see how much better you can feel in just a few weeks' time. But keep the mainstream's poisoned syringe away from your bladder, or one minute you could be peeing like a racehorse... And the next you'll be headed to the glue factory.

  2. Beard transplant fad leaves men red-faced

    Beard-buying boobs create a hairy situation

    I'm not what you'd call a technology buff. The only tablets I can tell you about are the ones Moses lugged down Mount Sinai.

    But I'm getting ready to buy the largest, gear-grinding paper shredder I can find. Because there are guys in every corner of America who need their “man cards” permanently revoked -- and I hope I don't have to come for yours.

    Believe it or not, surgeons across the good old U.S. of A. are becoming overnight millionaires thanks to a new fad that would have had Abe Lincoln puking in his hat -- beard transplants.

    Baby-faced 20-somethings -- you know, the kind of guys who wear colorful scarves and knit caps in July -- are plunking down $7,000 or more for facial hair implants to make them look like their favorite celebrities.

    Listen, if this was the first step toward cloning Chuck Norris, I'd probably be leading the parade. But we're not creating more Walker Texas Rangers here -- just more idiots. This medical craze is being driven by morons who have swallowed the mainstream lie that surgeries are as safe as a baby in bubble wrap.

    And trust me -- lots of these folks are going to end up with disfiguring scars, infections, and worse as unqualified docs scramble to get in on the gold rush.

    If you want to look like Fidel Castro, let me save you seven grand -- just grab a cigar and some army fatigues and don't shower and shave for a month. That's a heck of a lot better than letting some surgeon take a scalpel to your face.

    My own beard is so manly it does one-armed push-ups while I sleep. And I grew it the old fashioned way -- with steak, bourbon, and a can-do spirit. Follow my plan and you can do more than keep your good health -- you can keep your man card, too.

  3. Cell phone game targeted at kids promotes plastic surgery

    Why are the two biggest tech companies in the world trying to push plastic surgery on kids as young as nine years old? Learn how Apple and Google were encouraging young children to perform simulated liposuction on an "ugly" overweight peer. What's next, Botox for babies?
  4. Cosmetic Surgery to that Most Intimate of Areas

    Apparently, the next big thing - more like the final frontier - in cosmetic surgery is, brace yourselves: Vaginoplasty
  5. Dentist Perform Cosmetic Facial Surgery

    It seems that the latest session of Governor Shwarzenegger's California legislature is expected to approve a bill allowing cosmetic facial surgery to be performed BY DENTISTS.

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