Good science goes up in smoke

For a group of freedom haters who won't be happy until they've wiped every last tobacco product off the face of planet earth, there's one thing I can't help noticing about anti-tobacco activists.

They sure blow a lot of smoke.

These professional whiners have used decades of lies and manipulated science to convince half the poor saps in this country that if they catch so much as a whiff of tobacco smoke, they're headed straight for a chemo drip.

But now these fume fighters have sunk to a new low.

In a study that would be more at home in a comedy show than a medical journal, a group of scientists claim that kids who grow up in homes where both parents smoke may experience a slight thickening of their artery walls -- DECADES LATER!

They want us to believe that the Virginia Slim your mom smoked at the dinner table when you were a kid turned into a time bomb hiding inside your body, waiting to explode 40 years down the road. Are you kidding me?

Is there ANY problem that these nonsense-peddlers won't stoop to blaming on smoking? Suffering with a broken heart? Have a headache from your neighbor's dog barking too loud? Blame the Marlboro Man!

Face it, your arteries aren't thickening because mom and dad smoked -- they're thickening because you eat garbage! And that makes perfect sense to everyone except the nutjobs who look at the world through tobacco-tinted glasses.

So the next time you light up and one of these crazies gives you a dirty look, relax -- the smoke coming out of your mouth doesn't smell half as bad as the crap coming out of theirs.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.