Boob job for your belly is the dumbest way to lose weight EVER

The latest weight-loss scheme just might be the most ridiculous one yet: It's a boob job for your belly.

I don't know how else to describe this thing. Docs use a tube to shove two weight-loss balloons down your throat and into your stomach, and then pump them full of saline.

They're like a couple of saline-filled breast implants you'd see on some millionaire star athlete's wife -- except you've eaten them.

The idea is that with two bouncing balls of saline in your belly, you'll have less room and eat less.

Think that's a recipe for problems? You bet it is -- because these things burst like balloon animals at a toddler's birthday party. And when they do, you get a belly full of saline.

I can't imagine that's much fun (ever see what happens when you ingest too much ocean water), but that's probably the most pleasant part of the experience. Because while you're trying to digest all that salt water, the deflated balloon can then slide into your intestine and gum up the works.

The saline has been dyed blue, so you're supposed to watch your pee. If it starts coming out in Smurf colors, you need to head to the ER pronto for the pleasure of another tube down your throat while they pull this thing out.

And if that's not enough balloon-party fun, more than a third of the people who get these weight-loss balloons end up with ulcers from the things rubbing all over the stomach wall.

Listen, I know folks are desperate for a quick-fix gimmick for weight loss. And I'm here to tell you that there is a way to lose weight fast, no gimmicks necessary.

All you've got to do it is eat the foods you already love. It's as simple as that: bring your carb intake down to near zero and load up on steak, chicken, bacon, eggs, fresh dairy and all the rest of the animal fats you've been told to avoid.

That's everything you need to know in a single paragraph -- and if you follow that, you WILL lose weight fast. But if you want some more help, I've got more answers.

The December edition of my Douglass Report newsletter has everything you need to know about losing weight while living well -- and you don't have to eat frozen diet food, join a gym or spill an ounce of sweat.

Subscribers, your issue should be in your mailbox any day now. Not a subscriber? It's not too late! Sign up here and get all my future issues in the mail, plus access to all my back issues online.

Bursting this bubble,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.