Here's what October smells like: burning leaves, pumpkin pie and BS.

That's because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is practically a national holiday at this point -- and if you don't join the "in" crowd and slap a pink ribbon on whatever you're wearing, you're treated like some kind of cold-blooded breast-hating monster.

But those pink ribbons don't exist to cure disease or save lives -- they represent a Big Pharma-funded effort to drive millions of women through a funnel of screenings for a disease many don't even have, and treatments that most of them don't even need.

In fact, the supposed benefits of all those screenings and treatments are about as real as the Great Pumpkin -- and the numbers prove it every time.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is now 26 years old. In the 26 years since it was launched by AstraZeneca to help sell the company's cancer drugs, it's been a wild success -- for AstraZeneca and anyone else who makes money off cancer screenings and treatments.

But when it comes to saving lives and curing disease, it's been a miserable failure. Up to 15 lives are ruined with unnecessary and deforming breast-chopping surgeries and poisonous radiation treatments for every life "saved."

And even then, there's no guarantee that the one life "saved" was actually the result of early detection and brutal mainstream treatments -- because plenty of them were actually CAUSED by the radioactive and tumor-bursting screenings in the first place.

There's something you won't hear anywhere else this month!

The LA Times -- and kudos to them for this -- recently asked AstraZeneca if maybe Breast Cancer Awareness Month wasn't all it cracked up to be.

"If it's not broken, I don't think we should try and fix it," was all a spokesman could say.

Why mess with success, right?

But the Times didn't stray too far from the mainstream message -- because the very same day, the paper ran a massive 1,400-word article urging women with no sign of the disease to take AstraZeneca's cancer meds strictly as a preventive measure.

I'm taking those kudos back.