There's an entire olive grove of reasons to ignore the ridiculous and trendy Mediterranean diet… but a few researchers think you're most likely to ditch it because of the cost.

I really don't care what your reasoning is, as long as you stay far, far away from this fish- brained diet scheme. It's not just expensive – it's unhealthy and dangerous.

The study, which I still can't believe someone actually paid for, compared the low- quality Mediterranean diet to the low-quality Western diet. Both of them stink, but that wasn't the point of this research.

The researchers were more interested in the cost of each — and in promoting some bizarre socialist experiment that involves using junk food to subsidize health food.

You can't make this stuff up.

The study's authors wrote in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health that, because people are more likely to stick with a cheaper diet, junk foods should be taxed. Then, that money could be used to subsidize the Mediterranean diet.

This way, everyone can afford this wonderful diet, right?

Wrong.

The Mediterranean diet is great… if you're a bird. Who else can eat all those nuts, seeds and grains? If you're a human being, on the other hand, you should avoid this diet at all costs. I don't care if it's free or if they pay you to try it.

This is a diet that encourages you to pour gallons of olive oil on everything as you avoid red meat, limit your eggs, eat a little chicken, peck on nuts and seeds, and gorge yourself silly on mercury-laden fish.

It's nonsensical.

If you really want to live well and eat right, you can do so simply, easily and inexpensively and without following the bizarre rules of this mistaken diet. Ditch the carbs and processed foods, and eat your favorite meats and fresh veggies along with fatty oils – including olive oil and coconut oil.

In the end, I doubt that would cost more than a Mediterranean diet. And you'll get to live longer, better and healthier – I think that's worthwhile at any price.